seduction base Home           |            Before Pickup            |            Starting Pickup            |            In The Middle Of Pickup            |            The End Of Pickup
Advanced                 |              Field Reports              |                           F.A.Q                                |                    Others

Home > Before PU > Analyzing seduction >

Self Esteem Is Critical To A Healthy Sexual Relationship

This is in contrast to another woman who had a condescending or absent father. Such a woman is incapable of forming a deep emotional bond with a man. She has a bottomless pit of emotional need that can never be filled. She believes that she deserves to be treated poorly by men, though she expects being showered with attention and material gifts. She is often spotted in the company of men that view women as objects.

Her relationship with her mother is also important. I have known daddy's girls who had mothers that were total emotional basket cases and made very bad decisions for themselves. In those cases, the young women tend to make bad decisions for themselves. To a large extent, women tend to repeat the same successes or failures of their mothers. Such daddy's girls display some of the typical traits of a daddy's girl, but they make mistakes such as having no direction in life. The very best women are those who had two good parents in a good relationship.

A Daddy's Girl has a good sense of deservedness. Deservedness is what a woman believes she deserves for herself. She believes that she deserves to experience wonderful pleasure, and she believes that she deserves you. She will be your best ally. She will be rooting for you.

The opposite is a bad sense of deservedness. (Note: everybody has A sense of deservedness.) An example of a bad sense of deservedness is a woman who stays with a controlling or abusive man. Therefore, one of the quickest ways to obtain much information about a woman is to note the men she associates with.

If the woman does not have a good sense of deservedness, you will be forever frustrated, your energy will be constantly drained, and the relationship is doomed. She cannot appreciate a good man when she has one. She will sabotage the relationship and eventually leave for some scum that she believes she deserves. If you aren't a psychiatrist or a therapist, there's not much you can do about it. And even then, if she's not motivated to self improvement, it's futile.

Someone once asked me "What is the equivalent in a man? Is it his relationship with his mother?" This recent post on the Internet may shed some light:

"I'm 34, I've slept with over 100 women. I haven't developed strong feelings for any of them, until my first girlfriend. She recently broke up with me. After the breakup, I became obsessed. I emailed her constantly, tried to get in touch with her all the time, started chain smoking and drinking, thought about suicide, stopped eating for a week, stopped sleeping, stopped exercising. I had only one goal: GET HER BACK and MARRY HER! I also realized that I communicated to my girlfriend the same way I communicated to my mother as a child. My mother would insult me, criticize me, yell at me, threaten to leave me. And I would never respond. I would tell her nothing, even though I wanted to say many things to her. I can see now that my entire life has been lived with the fear of intimacy and abandonment by a woman. That is why I'm good at pickup - I leave the emotions aside and go for the close. Only problem is: that has become totally empty to me now. I've had enough sex with multiple partners. I'm ready to be with one woman only."

As you can see, self-esteem is critically important for a healthy sexual relationship. And just because a woman is smoking hot, does not mean she has a low self esteem or a high self esteem. Similarly, just because a woman is average looking does not mean anything about her self esteem.

Over the years I developed reliable ways to determine which women have a high self esteem. One of the best and most reliable tests for a good self esteem is to pay her a compliment and see how she responds. If she belittles the compliment or down plays it, I know she has a low self esteem. The compliment will tend to break rapport, as it should. But if she takes the compliment well, such as responding with a genuine "Thank you!" then it may be possible that she has a good self esteem. The compliment will tend to increase rapport, as it should.

I also discuss this at length in my book, and will discuss it at my seminar in Los Angeles on March 5,6.

If you have any questions, email me at

By David Shade

Previous [1] [2] 3 Next @2009 - The Ultimate Collection Of seduction Opener, Close Routines and Other seduction Tactics