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Creating your own reality
I've been getting a lot of PM questions from guys, and I see a lot of recent posts where guys drop the concepts of, "realities," and "framing." To this point, I don't think we've clearly defined these concepts.
Fair disclosure: I did NOT come up w/ this concept. I was vaguely familiar w/ it, but after watching a David DeAngelo program, the concept was really beat into my head.
The entire concept of "realities" and "framing" have a lot to do with inner strength/game and personal self-confidence. The basic assumption is that people are generally followers and look to follow the alpha male/leader of any particular group. The term I use frequently is "sheeple"---a hybrid between sheep and people.
Actually, I learned this concept in an entirely non-dating, non-flirting arena----sales. Back in California I had a part time job petitioning. For those not in California, petitioning is when enough signatures are gathered to qualify a certain issue for the voting ballot for election day. The issues are varied, and these people can be VERY annoying to shoppers becaue they stand outside of grocery stores, Targets, etc. trying to get people to sign the issues. Petitioners get paid per signature, so there is a premium on getting as many people to sign as possible. For the guys who are really good, this makes a shitload of money--about $100-$150 per hour.
Well, the company I worked for was very slick & professional. They taught us how to organize, how to get multiple clipboards & multiple signing at the same time, make the signing table like a little party w/ music playing & balloons, etc. My good friend owns the company and introduced me to term, "sheeple".
I learned three major concepts with petitioning, and they have a DIRECT application to women and dating.
Selling & getting somebody to sign is all about flirting & body mimicing. If you're an OK looking guy and dressed well, flirt with the women---young and old. Hold eye contact, smile, etc. For the guys, adopt/mirror their body language and attitude. Are they snotty white collar? Are they a gruff blue collar? Are they young or old? Educated? Poor or wealthy? Basically, it trained us to read a social situation INSTANTLY and then adjust our gameplan accordingly.
The power of groupthink. This is where the term "sheeple" came from. Once I got one person signing at the table, did I just focus on them to make sure they were signing everything? NO. Instead, start trying to hook more people. Once you have one or two people signing at the table, it is MUCH easier to hook new people. Why? SOCIAL PROOF. The people walking by see the balloons, the other normal looking people signing, hear the music, etc. and wonder what's going on. They see all of this, and that is a social cue to them that everything is legit (in reality it IS legit, but most people are too busy or annoyed to stop & sign).
The power of politely commanding your own reality. This is where self-confidence is KEY. Instead of ASKING for them sign, I'd TELL THEM. Shove the pen & clipboard into their hand, show/tell them what to do, then turn your back on them and start shilling for another signer. Granted some were so hurried that they rushed by before I could do/say anything. Some just didn't trust petitioners and there was nothing I could do about it. You know what? That's OK. This is where self-confidence comes in. You need to know it's nothing personal and as long as you keep pluging, things will happen. Also, I learned to IDENTIFY those people (see the first point above), and didn't even waste energy pitching to them. I just focused on the ones that I either knew I could get or the ones that were unaware/neutral. Using language and confidence you can direct people's behavior really well. When we had multiple issues to sign that would take 10 minutes to sign, I didn't say up front that there were many and it would take 10 minutes. I would just pitch them the first one and get them signing. Then I would flip the page and say, "And the next one.....", etc. About 90% of the time they would unquestioningly keep signing. This would happen EVEN IF I had like 10 issues!! I just kept flipping the page, flipping the page, etc. and they would KEEP SIGNING. Even rubbing their hands from writing so much, or shaking their head because it was so much, but they would still NEVER SAY ANYTHING. Occasionally I'd joke about the length, etc. just to put them at ease. But most would not walk away. Why? Because it would be socially awkward. YOU have set the frame, and if they break it, it might create social disorder. It takes a great amount of psychological energy to do this. Either being really busy and tunnel-visioned to not engage at all, or really self-aware, etc. But most people aren't.
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