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Three keys to doing street approaches

Finally, you deliver your opening line - "Hey guys..."

Rule #3 - Pull her into your reality

A new problem seems to reveal itself when you start to get good at doing street approaches. The problem seems to be twofold. For me about half of the sets that opened well were really short interactions and the other half turned into really fun and somewhat lengthy conversations. However, they all had one thing in common - they all came to an end too soon. I wanted to continue talking with them and I could tell by their body language and how they were responding to me that they wanted to continue talking as well. It was like there was some kind of social pressure to end the interaction immediately after they answered my question or gave their opinion. There was usually an awkward pause which was followed by them excusing themselves (we have to go, nice talking to you, hope that helps, etc.).

The solution is so simple and easy to do that I would have never thought of it. Now, I think it's one of the most powerful techniques in my arsenal for street pickup that you can use in the first 60 seconds of your interaction. The solution is to distract them out of their reality and pull them into your reality.

Here's my theory on why this works and how to do it:

When a woman is walking down the street she is generally focused on getting to some destination. In our example, let's say she is going to the mall. If she is walking towards the mall and someone stops her and asks for the time, she gives an automatic response. It takes no thought to look at her watch, answer the question and continue walking towards her goal. When someone asks her for directions, she stops, give directions, smiles and continues walking towards her goal. It is such an automatic response that she doesn't even have to think. I believe that it is this automatic conditioned response combined with social pressure which almost forces a woman to excuse herself after a few minutes. It will happen the majority of the time - even if she is really enjoying talking to you and wants to continue doing so.

The solution to this problem is to pull her out of her reality and bring her into yours. I do this by simply turning her body 90 degrees or more. This does 3 things simultaneously:

1 - It interrupts her thought process (of going to the mall).

2 - It takes her focus off of her goal because she can no longer see the path that she was on

3 - It changes the dynamic of the interaction so that she is no longer running her automatic program of "answer your question then go". Now instead of giving a quick answer to your opinion and continuing on her way, she is now in a conversation with you and her attention is no longer on her goal. It is also like you are pulling her out of her reality (going to the mall) and pulling her into your reality.

So the obvious question is "how do you turn a woman's body (especially a complete stranger) and pull her into your reality?" There are lots of strategies for doing this. I made it simple on myself and built this right into the first story of my routine stack. It now flows really naturally so I don't even have to think about this step anymore. A really easy way for a beginner to do the body turn is to do it right after your opening line just after you start telling your first story. I do this by taking a few steps around her and to the side so that she has to turn her body about 90 or more degrees to face me while I am telling my first routine/story. This is a really easy and powerful technique for people to master. Unfortunately, its a little harder to convey how to do this explaining it through text. We teach lots of different ways to do the body turn at our workshops at Project San Francisco. Right after you get into the first story is the best time to turn her body. This is because it is socially unacceptable and rude for people to cut you off when you are in the middle of telling a story. A lifetime of social programming forces them to turn to face you while you tell them your story. Anything else is socially uncomfortable. Have you ever got stuck listening to a long- ass boring story that you absolutely did not want to hear from a person you did not want to talk to but you stayed there and listened anyways? That is social programming at its finest! Now you can use this social phenomenon to your advantage. Of course, you will want to make sure your interaction is fun for both you and them.

In case you are curious, my success rate for opening women in the streets on the days when I apply all three of these techniques has been as good as 62%, of which 80% would lead to getting her phone number and 75% of those would lead to a date. So the end result has been about 37% of my cold approaches would lead to a date or roughly every 1 out of 3 women I approached in the street (or mall). If you want to dramatically improve your results in street pickup just take a few minutes to turn on your own personal magnetism, use precision body language and pull her into your reality.

By Flash

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