Why Negs Work And What People Are Doing Wrong

author:         "GameBoy"
date:            Fri, 17 March 2003 22:26:00 GMT
website:      www.themysterymethod.com
subject:        Why Negs Work And What People Are Doing Wrong ...I'm guessing that these guys are overcompensating and thus, over reaching. It's almost a venting of frustration for some. As if...

I posted this exact same post in the "Best Neg EVER!!!" thread but I think more people need to be aware of the concepts. I am re-posting this as it's own thread. What I want to discuss is the finer-points of the Neg - not just HOW-To, but WHY and what effect it has on the psyche.

Lets stop the barrage of bad 'Negs' by having a real discussion.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dace
"Fuck me if I am wrong but you want to fuck me."

... I still remember being told this line by a mate who thought that it was a magic loophole "because there is no way out"

I hold a similar line in the back of my mind. Any time that 'the worst pickup lines' become topic, I think of:

"If I were to as you out; would the answer to that question be the same as the answer to this question?"

The problem with cheese-ball lines like these? There IS a way out - the girl will either laugh at you, turn away, slap you, or any combination.

Just stay away from lines like these.

But, while we're at it: Why do you guys think most newcomers to the game completely misunderstand what makes a Neg work?

I keep hearing insults - not Negs.

I'm guessing that these guys are overcompensating and thus, over reaching. It's almost a venting of frustration for some. As if, in their subconscious mind they're saying 'I'm gonna put this bitch in her place' and releasing years of pent-up AFC frustration.

A Neg should be something subtle and casual. I like the description 'backhanded compliment' - something you'd say to a little sister. As if, you're an asshole who is going out of their way to try and be nice. You're 'doing the best you can'.

Other times, it's the inflection that makes the neg.

I was out with a girl who had been a little flakey (the "I swear I'm not a flake" kind of flake)

On our way into the city the subject of how hard it had been for us to get together came up.

During this conversation I said something to the effect of "I figured that I'd call and give you one more chance because (blah blah blah something nice blah blah [the specifics aren't important - the important part is saying something pseudo nice here])

The "one more" (or other synonym) was said with just a hint of frustration and emphasis. With this girl - I have a good deal of attraction and trust built. Showing that I was coming close to taking it away caused a major shift in her body language and attitude. The effect was exactly what I was looking for.

Subtle signals and movements are much more profound BECAUSE of how natural or absentminded they seem. It is coded as something that must be read properly. The recipient feels that they have discovered something and thus the realization is much stronger. (The reward system of their own mind generates dopamine as a reward for being astute. This chemical signature helps to cement the memory of what was discovered deeper.)

Another thing to remember (I know I've touched on this already) is that you want the comment to fly under the radar of intention. If you were to say something of this nature in a direct fashion; the recipient will become defensive.

Have any of you attempted to train a dog before? (Tangent: Dog-training books provide some of the best resource material on reward/punishment dynamics.) When you're walking your dog, if he has an urge to run ahead you do not want to pull directly on his leash. Pulling backwards does little to deter him - he will only pull harder out of reflex (still trying to get what he wants) A better method of correction is to pull the dogs leash to the side. This throws the dog off balance and bypasses his resistance. There is no instinctual guard for this maneuver built into the dogs mind. Instead, the dog becomes stunned. If you perform this same maneuver whenever the dog tries to pull ahead, it'll simply stop doing that.