Paolo: Guys, you may find that partially OT, but I've not got anyone else to tell. Please I need your answers, your insults, your suggestions. I'll be sick to see no answers, please read until the end. I'll be short. HB comes to work in my company. She's really a smart lady, to me the best in the 100 chicks at the company. To me she's a 10, she worked as a clothes shop clerk, just as info.
HB sees me during her "newbie" tour in the company. I see her. Some weeks pass. For 4, 5 days HB comes out at evening in time to meet me (not the opposite), and one time she smiles. I didn't react.
Other 2 week pass.
One time I got to eat alone in cafe in the center of the village. HB enters. She starts to move around me, faking to talk at the phone. I was seeing anything else than her ass. She sits 2 meters away.
I was like paralyzed. 5 minutes I took to calm down, after which I started to talk. I wrote her a letter, in which I stated "I want we are friends", because I strongly agree to separate flirts and job.
2 days after I invite her for a sandwich (as friends).
She takes me on a park bench.
For half hour I did fluff talk.
I don't touch her with one finger.
(PLease don't laugh guys, I feel bad, it's not a joke).
2 time again the park bench.
Again I don't touch her.
This time I saw her becoming upset. After she refuses me.
1 month passes.
Again on a park bench. This time I played as if I wanted revenge from this 1 month black-out.
I think it has been her last attempt.
The reason for my behavior could be:
1. I wanted really to be friend. She's intelligent.
2. Use her as a pivot.
3. She's more hot that I could ever expect. This has frightened me.
4. I am only an idiot.
Now I am trying bad to forget all. My behavior is out of any possible excuse.
I am lost and confused.
It's 2 months that this story if filling up my days.
Don't say me to sleep with other 10 chicks, because by now I can't unless they come to me like that HB has done. This seldom happens. I am more than shy, inhibited.
I am badly recovering from AFC, at least I hope.
I've never felt so bad and out of grace.
I'd like to disappear from the earth.
Invincible69: just think to your self, this is a HB if i want to do get her as a pivot or on a date i better get up and do something. Don't think of the worst scenario, cuz that never happens, just say hi to her and slowly start talking about sexual stuff, and if you can get a hug from her every time you see her. That lets her know you like to touch. If you really want this HB, just go out some where and bring along a wing man, and just say hi to any HB you see and when the confidence comes to you start talking to them. In the long run this will really help.
Style: I think that you are too nervous, that you're too intimidated around such a beautiful woman (even your writing style is nervous). And I think that when you're nervous and uncomfortable, the person that you're with becomes nervous and uncomfortable. And that discourages her from wanting to be with you. So, all you need to do is to find a way to be comfortable around beautiful women. But that's easier said than done. There's Svengali's Challenge (which Fatass turned me on to--thanks!), but I think you need some more basic psychological reprogramming. Anyone have any ideas?
Fatass: You're driving her crazy because you LJBFed her. And she's driving you crazy because she can't get the response she expects from you and keeps trying harder.
You could quit your job.
She could quit hers.
You could marry her. :-))
Whatever you do, BE DA MAN. Get control of yourself. Remember, she's only a sack of flesh and blood with a handful of bones inside.
Paolo: My earlier behavior was involuntarily perfect: a jerk.
She turned so damned hot.
After I fell at her feet my behavior became what I really am: nice guy.
The effect on her was like a cold shower.
She's a big fish and it will be a hard lesson to learn, even more because she had already eaten the bait.
PFAL: Alright, man, you just need to calm down for a second. Ask yourself this question... what did you learn from this whole experience? Surely you have learned something, if even only one thing. In my opinion I would forget about pursuing this girl as it has been TWO months with no moves. I know that is probably what you DON'T want to hear, but I know that is the advice that most people are going to post. Get over her. Let's see what we learned...
1. Whenever a new "female" arrives in your life, be it on a "newbie" tour at work, or a new girl at your favorite restaurant, or a new girl at the gym, whatever, immediately INTRODUCE YOURSELF. This establishes you as someone who she can talk to, and as she is new, she is most likely looking for someone to show her around. Take advantage of this.
2. Always return a smile when a girl that you are interested in offers it. Again, she is most likely trying to establish rapport with the people at her new place of employment, and she is basically trying to see if you qualify as someone she can have fun with. Return the smile and say hello. Stop her next time, and talk with her about how her job is going. The fact that she took the initiative to smile at you simply lifts the burden of making initial contact from your shoulders, and all you have to do is return her acknowledgment.
3. When a woman approaches you in a break time situation (lunch in the center of the village), take advantage of it. Remember, conversations are like ping pong games. You say something, then the ball is on her side, and she has to say something in return. Simply say, "Hi!", while looking in her eyes and smiling. She should be more than ready to return the conversation, especially if she is going out of her way to sit near you. Don't worry too much about carrying the conversation. It is very likely that she will do much of the talking, really it just looks like she is waiting for a green light from you. Most girls like to talk. And if they don't, or if the conversation stalls when it is her turn to talk, then think about this...
(1). She could be just as nervous as you. This is a good sign because this means that she likes you enough to worry about making a fool out of herself in front of you. Congratulations! Feel good about this! You actually made her shy!
(2). Maybe she really has nothing to say. In which case, who cares what she thinks? All this means is that she disqualifies herself from anything "serious", and that she will make good practice in learning how to carry a conversation. Just regard her as a convenient target to practice your social and seduction skills on.
In any event, all you have to do initially is acknowledge her presence and let her know that you want to spend some time getting to know her.
4. Always establish "kino" early on. This makes it easier to continue and move onto real moves that are designed to make her sexually aroused. As I said before, always introduce with a handshake, as this establishes that it is okay to touch each other. When I shake the hand of a girl I am meeting for the first time, if I think that she is hot, I will always make it a firm, erotic touch while appearing to be completely uninterested in pursuing her. Do not make the mistake of shaking her hand in a business like way, unless you seriously intend to interact with her for professional reasons.
5. DO NOT LET HER THINK THAT YOU WANT TO BE JUST FRIENDS! If you really want to have sex with her, or have more than a friendship, be honest and let her know. Don't just say that you want to be her friend because you want her to think that you are "politically correct" or something. The LJBF routine is something that we have worked hard at creating offensives against! Do not surrender the battle before it has even begun! Let her know your true intentions, and also stay away from writing letters.
Paolo, I am not sure who has told you that you are an idiot in the past, but trust me, you are not. You just have to break that mindset that you are incompetent. Act as if you are the most competent man on earth. Seriously. Watch the behavior of people who behave confidently. Model their speech, model their actions, do what they do and eventually you will assimilate confident behavior into your lifestyle.
convinceme: Man, if there was one lesson I could teach the world of men out there who need to learn confidence this is it. It's a Golden Rule. I've given this advice to a hundred people on how to improve themselves. It applies to ever aspect of life. You wanna grow bigger? Mimic the biggest guys in the gym. Wanna succeed in work? Read corporate biographies! And then mimic. It is exactly how I did it. I watched, learned, mimicked, became! And then your proof is in yourself and the growing becomes self perpetuating.
Gunwitch: I've only met a couple of other guys who are confident, powerful AND manage TO CLOSE a lot of hot women. Ive met tons who are good looking (yet aloof and nervous and get by on looks alone), or who keep a lot of female friends (yet never close em) etc. Its BEST to DEAL WITH WOMEN till you figure out your "certain feel". Learn as much about their psyche as you can through analyzing their behaviors and through reading about their behaviors.
I am confident that you have many interesting and strong talents that you can display at any time, you just have to allow yourself to acknowledge that you are good enough to have what you want in life. I know that this may sound a bit Stuart Smalley, but man keep your head up because life only gets better.
SuperBobo: You were scared, plain and simple. To quote Bladerunner... "Shakes? I get 'em all the time. It's part of the business."
Franco: ***You are afraid of Your male instincts. When You saw how beautiful and erotic she is You felt the desire to jump on her and fuck everything out of her. Don't be. You do not need to make excuses for You being a male and wanting an HB. You have to put Yourself in the FRAME of mind YOU ARE THE ONE WHO IS MAKING HER A FAVOR to want her. A good way to make her like You would be for example ASK HER TO DO SOMETHING FOR YOU. Think to her like if she would be a slave and You would be a king. Ask her to bring You a coffee from time to time, make her offer You drinks, also go to the manual and learn what NEG HIT is. You should NEG her at least 2 times before You start any other approach. Your fear had also PARADOXICALLY the effect of make her feel like You LJBFed her.. and You can use that. Maybe she understood You are afraid maybe not. If she did not understood You are afraid she is maybe wondering why You did not make any approach to her and that can be used in Your favor.. Also BUILD RAPPORT with her ( go to read the manual ) Forget she is beautiful and concentrate on LISTENING her. Ask her about her life and her hobbies, make her open to You. It seems like You do not read the FAQ at all..